Many of us have experienced moments where we want to make a change or seek help but find ourselves stuck in a cycle of procrastination.
This is especially common among those who have faced trauma. There is a subconscious fear of punishment if success is achieved.
People talk about procrastination as though its a disease of lazy people. It carries shame, and blame, and is not something that people like to confess to doing. Yet, in my experience and interactions with those who are embracing a healthier future for themselves, it’s a common behavior for self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage can be rooted in self-hatred or fear or simply due to a lack of information or resources. It’s important to understand the motivating factor behind your procrastination to understand toxic belief systems … or unanswered questions.
Begin by noticing your energy level, thoughts, and behaviors surrounding the object, conversation, or tasks that you may find yourself avoiding. To help you reflect,
Here are some stories and insights that might resonate and offer encouragement. The following fictional stories are presented to help with identifying underlying factors and experiences.
The Weight of Expectations
STORY #1: Sarah always dreamed of writing a book. She had a compelling story to tell, one rooted in her experiences overcoming personal challenges. However, every time she sat down to write, she felt paralyzed. Instead of typing, she would scroll through social media or binge-watch shows. The thought of putting her feelings into words felt daunting, triggering memories she wasn’t ready to confront.
Insight: Sarah’s experience highlights how trauma can create a mental block. It’s essential to recognize that it’s okay to take small steps. Instead of aiming to write a full chapter, she could start with a few sentences or jot down her feelings in a journal. This approach can help ease the burden and gradually rebuild confidence.
The Fear of Change
Story #2 John had been in a toxic work environment for years. He wanted to leave and pursue a career aligned with his passions, but the fear of the unknown kept him anchored to his job. Each day, he would tell himself that he’d update his resume tomorrow, yet tomorrow never came.
Insight: John’s story illustrates how trauma can lead to fear of change. Often, the familiar, even if it’s painful, feels safer than the uncertainty of new beginnings. A helpful strategy is to break down the process into manageable tasks. Instead of focusing on leaving his job entirely, John could start by researching potential careers or reaching out to friends for advice. In addition to taking these small steps, John could ask himself clarifying questions to help him understand what was lacking or not being asked. Did he have all the information he needed to make the changes he desired?
The Cycle of Overwhelm
Story #3 Emily wanted to improve her health after experiencing a traumatic event. She set ambitious goals: eating perfectly, exercising daily, and meditating every morning. However, when she inevitably faltered, she felt defeated and stopped trying altogether.
Insight: Emily’s situation shows how setting unrealistic expectations can lead to overwhelm and inaction. A more effective approach is to set achievable goals. For instance, Emily might start with a 10-minute walk a few times a week or incorporate one healthy meal into her routine. Small successes can build momentum and restore motivation.
Seeking Support
Story #4 Mark had been through significant trauma and longed for support but felt too exhausted to reach out. He convinced himself that others wouldn’t understand his struggles, so he kept his feelings bottled up.
Insight: Mark’s experience underscores the importance of seeking support from trusted friends or professionals. Sharing feelings can lighten the emotional load and foster connections that make taking action feel less daunting. It’s vital to remember that vulnerability can lead to healing and understanding.
Sometimes a person doesn’t even know how to identify what they are feeling until they hear someone else’s story. Watching helpful videos, and reading insightful books, help to put language to thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that are not understood.
Overcoming procrastination and avoidance after trauma is a journey that requires patience and self-compassion.
Remember that it’s okay to take small steps and lean on others for support. By honoring your feelings and gradually facing your challenges, you can break free from the stalemate and move toward a brighter future. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory worth celebrating.