Whose Collar Are You Wearing?

In life, it’s easy to catch ourselves making excuses or placing our happiness and future in the hands of others, be it a hypothetical partner, a certain amount of money, or a particular life event. But the question we must ask ourselves is: who truly owns us? Are we willing to hand over the reins of our existence to something external, intangible, or undefined?

The habit of saying “if only” or “I’m waiting for” can often be a shield we use to avoid taking responsibility for our own lives. By attributing our worth, joy, or peace of mind to someone or something else, we relinquish our power to create our own reality.

Here are some common toxic beliefs that can hold us back:

• “I don’t have to prove myself”: This belief can lead to complacency and a lack of personal growth.
• “I don’t want to do the work”: Avoiding challenges and hard work can hinder our progress and development.
• “I am a victim”: Identifying solely as a victim can prevent us from moving forward and healing.
• “I’m not good enough”: This self-limiting belief can sabotage our self-esteem and confidence.

Let’s consider a scenario: a single woman who postpones living her life fully until she finds a partner and starts a family. If you find yourself in this position, it’s essential to reflect on the following:

• Why are you staking your happiness on another person? Waiting for a relationship to fulfill you can lead to disappointment and missed opportunities for personal growth.
• What are you truly seeking when you wish for a child? Understanding your motivations can help you differentiate between desiring the experience of motherhood and the responsibilities that come with it.
• Are you emotionally ready to be a parent? Raising a child involves more than just the idea of having one; it requires emotional stability, selflessness, and a willingness to prioritize another’s needs over your own.

Ultimately, it’s crucial to reclaim ownership of our lives and decisions. By acknowledging and challenging our toxic beliefs, we can pave the way for personal growth, self-empowerment, and genuine fulfillment. Let’s strive to live authentically, taking responsibility for our own happiness and well-being, rather than waiting for external factors to define us.