The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

A woman swings in a hammock, while reading the open pages of a book. The view is from behind and slightly above her.

It wasn’t about dating or even being liked by people that inspired me to read this book.

In fact, I don’t even know if I can tell you why I purchased this book to read, except that I had been doing research on body language and facial expressions, how to spot liars, and other cheerful things about human relationships. 

The LIKE SWITCHYes, I think that was it. It must have been one of the books that Amazon referred at the bottom of a shopping page when purchasing another book. Nevertheless, it’s been easily four years since I read this book and I’m STILL thinking about it!

In fact, the book was so good and so interesting to me, that I made it a topic for a series the Circles Groups meeting I lead. As the women sat around the table, we listened to the audio version of The Like Switch. The stories that the author, Jack Shafer, shares from his experiences as an FBI agent were eye-opening.

The world of secret agents and espionage is not a world that most of us know, much less think about. Yet it is something that is happening constantly behind the scenes of our lives, protecting or changing how we live.

The techniques that are described by Shafer in the telling of his stories and experiences are something that we can not only learn, but be aware of to avoid being manipulated against our will, or to achieve desired goals.  Just saying that one sentence nearly gives me the chills because a comment that most of the ladies made were that becoming aware of the art of ‘manipulation’ was a bit unnerving whether one was the manipulator, or the manipulated.


Schafer shares fascinating stories with a touch of humor that keeps the reader’s interest. At the same time, he teaches about body language, the steps to building any relationship, whether it is a personal one, or for business. He shares the commonality of the methods that are being used by experts throughout history

One of my favorite insights gleaned from this book was that you don’t have to be an extrovert to network.  Introverts can ‘control a crowd’ just as well as an extrovert, but there’s a very specialized way of doing that. That one concept alone was worth buying the book! 

At the time of writing this blog post, I’ve read the book twice and just yesterday morning I referred it to a group of nonprofit leaders to read in order to network more effectively. It’s that interesting and that good. 


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